It’s been almost two weeks since I last touched the project I’m currently working on. I’m in a funk about writing. When things don’t flow, I go into a downward spiral. That spiral includes thinking that, I’ve never written anything worth a shit, and I will never write anything worth a shit. Procrastination, for me, seems to be more about fear, and less about laziness.
Any time I face a creative endeavor, I’m opening myself up to failure. I’ve left myself very little room for failure in my life. To some, this may seem noble or like it’s a “good work ethic”, but not allowing one’s self to fail I think is very unhealthy. Sure, the quality of any work or creation that comes from me is going to be polished and as well done as I can achieve. However, I will accomplish fewer things, as the fear of failure makes me avoid certain tasks that will help me to grow.
How do I deal with this fear? How do I deal with failure? In the past, my modus operandi has been to wallow in it, to curl up in the (mostly proverbial) fetal position, and try to forget about whatever it was I failed at. But, I know that if I have any desire at all to create, I must be not only comfortable with failing, but willing to fail, and to do so on a grand scale.